Are You a Phubbing? Being Alone in the Company of Others 

 

At restaurants, coffee shops, and theme parks – we’ve all seen ‘phubbing’ happen. It may have even happened to you this week. Or maybe you were the phubber! ‘Phubbing,’ is the act of snubbing someone in a social situation by interacting more with your phone than in conversation.

 

Created by 23-year-old Australian graduate student Alex Haigh, the “Stop Phubbing” campaign begs smartphone users to engage with family and friends and prioritize moments over status updates and tweets. The campaign’s playful website (www.stopphubbing.com) includes faux statistics and humorous catchphrases (like, “Leave your phone in your pocket, and have a chat with the real world.”). While the website has a lighthearted tone, paying more attention to a mobile device can offend friends and distance ourselves socially.

 

Today’s smartphones are so much more than phones. We use them as alarm clocks and notepads, to get driving directions and weather forecasts, and for taking photos and posting status updates. It’s no wonder why we are captivated by these digital features! But in the midst of our evolving technology, it’s more important than ever to keep kindness a priority.

 

 

• How are we using our smartphones? Fifty-six percent of American adults have a smartphone, according to data from Pew Internet Project in May 2013. Even when they don’t notice vibration or alerts, 67% of cell phone users find themselves checking for messages, notifications, or calls. Average smartphone users, according to a survey by European telecom company O2, spend over two hours on their phones, browsing the Internet, checking social networks, playing games, listening to music, and making calls.

 

• Learn to prioritize the moment. A wonderful way to show friends, family, and coworkers they are valued is by intentionally prioritizing your time with them. During weddings, holiday parties, and coffee dates, resist the urge to check text messages, browse Facebook, and past time by playing mobile games. The absence of your technology will let your company know you appreciate them.

 

• Understand when mobile use is rude. The blaring glow of a smartphone during the movies or a seated concert is rude to other paying customers. But when you are in a classroom, conference, seminar, and even church, using your smartphone is not only rude to those around you, but can be distracting to the speaker. Keep your priority being kind by being aware of your smartphone usage.

 

• When is it appropriate to give a social media shout out? Social media shouts out, especially on Twitter, are great ways to give kudos and share thanks immediately to your network. Avoid tweeting while someone is speaking. Instead find downtime before or after the speech or teaching to update your social networks.

 

• What’s the best way to handle an important call? If you are expecting an important message or phone call, let your company know as you arrive that you are waiting for a call from your husband, child, or boss. Always excuse yourself before taking the call. Doing your best to alert your company of your situation will make them more understanding and let them know you value their time.

 

 

So, why be present? Being all the way there, is a great way to respect your company and fully live in the moment! Plus, there may be a sad side to smartphone use; MIT professor Sherry Turkle theorized in a TED talk that smartphones are making us lonely. Next time you are sitting across from a friend over coffee, in the audience at a conference, or attending a work meeting, extend graciousness by resisting the urge to “phubb” and give your company your full attention.