Name Game: 9 Simple tips for how to remember names
In my hmmm hmmm years of living on this earth, I have never met one living soul that didn’t like to hear their name.
If you want to impress someone, bypass the diatribes about your oxford degree, surviving 30 days at sea on a raft made of shark skin, or how you won that contest in college eating the most hotdogs. Make an instant impact, the fastest and simplest way, by remembering and voicing their name.
But….what if you can’t remember the name of the person you’re speaking with?
Whatever you do, never say “I forgot your name,” or “I can’t remember your name.” Those kinds of statements will just make the other person feel unimportant, and forgotten.
Instead, say something like, “Your name is right on the tip of my tongue,” or “It’s been such a long day, could you tell me your name again?”
Of course, you’ll make an even better impression if you can remember the person’s name in the first place. Try these 9 simple techniques to help remember names:
- Listen. Really listen when someone is telling you his or her name. Sometimes instead of listening, we’re thinking about what to say next. Don’t do this. Listen to the person’s name and say it out loud as soon as possible, “It’s so nice to meet you, Tammy.”
- Repeat. After meeting someone new, say the person’s name a few times to imprint it in your memory. Use it while speaking to the person, but not so frequently that it feels awkward.
- Nickname. Give the person a nickname that helps you remember them (Tall Tammy, for example). If you use this technique, make sure you don’t say the nickname out loud, keep it to yourself!
- Write it down. Write down names and identifying information (or enter them in your Blackberry, iPhone, iPad, etc.). After you meet someone and go your separate ways, write down the person’s name, where you met them, and something that will remind you of what you discussed. This is especially helpful at networking events.
- Spell it. If a person has an unusual name or the name has more than one spelling, ask them how they spell it. If a name is generally spelled only one way, like Robert or David, you could ask if they prefer Bob or Dave. Always ask before shorting another person’s name. Don’t assign them a nickname.
- Become an artist. When someone tells you their name, spell it a few times (to yourself of course.) Picture it written out as you spell it. Or pretend that you are painting their name across the sky or drawing it on their forehead in black sharpie-for a visual reminder.
- Change focus. Sometimes we forget someone’s name because we are feeling socially self-conscious. Our focus is on whether we look, speak, or are acting in an acceptable manner. Turn your focus to the other person and on putting them at ease, then it will be much easier to recall their name.
- Reintroduce yourself. If you see someone you haven’t seen in a long time, reintroduce yourself. This may prompt them to tell you their name as well.
- You’re brilliant! When someone remembers your name and you just cannot remember theirs, you can say, “Wow, you have an amazing memory! Sometimes I can’t even remember my own kid’s names.” They will most likely enjoy your compliment and sense of humor.
If you have trouble remembering names, use these simple tricks to help names stick. Use them to make a bigger impact by calling others by name and making others feel as special as they are!
I agree with the point on not calling someone by a nickname. The only time that would seem appropriate is if that person specifically asked you by saying something like, “My name is ——, but you can call me.” There was a man I worked with who would shorten my name and it drove me crazy.
What about titles (Dr., Judges, military personnel)? How should a person with a title be addressed?
Thanks for all the pointers, Patricia.
Hello Robin,
A person with a title should be addressed with their title unless advised otherwise .
So happy you enjoyed the post .
My best,
Patricia
Great advice Patricia!
How do you refer to a doctor who says his/her first name when the introduction is made? I have been sticking with thier first name and not including thier title, is this a prudent move?
Hello Garth~
I would use their last name with title. If they say please call me by my first name, then I would.
Have a great Wednesday Garth.
Best,
Patricia
For some reason, I struggle more with women’s names than men’s. Which is kind of odd because men’s names are more frequently duplicated. In our Scout troop, we have a plethora of Jims, Daves, and Kevins for some reason. I think most women tend to be a little more bland when you meet them, so they don’t make a strong impression. Those who aren’t bland – say you meet a lady with bright pink hair – she is much more memorable.
One tip I have heard is to link someone’s name to a person you already know with that name. So if you meet a Tammy, think of a Tammy that you already know and that will reinforce the name for you. I am getting better, but women’s names are still a bit of a stumbling block for me.
Good Morning Adrian~
Thank you for the wonderful tip.
Have a beautiful Wednesday.
My best,
Patricia