Patricia Rossi’s Blog

Getting along with others at the office not only makes work life flow more smoothly, it can also help you to focus better on tasks and be more productive.

The problem with work relationships is that things can be said wrong, making you appear impolite – and causing awkward tensions between colleagues.

Here are just a few of the topics and phrases that you should never say to your colleagues or co-workers –

1~ “You Look Tired”. If you notice that a colleague looks as though they are struggling, and hasn’t gotten much sleep, never tell them that they appear tired. Saying this will only make matters worse. No one wants to hear those words, especially on a bad day. Instead, you should ask them if they want any help on the project that they are doing, or focus on something positive, like complimenting them on their outfit, or asking them if they have any plans for the weekend. Trying to make the conversation light to brighten their mood.

2~ Don’t Talk About Weight. You may think that commenting on someone’s weight loss seems like a compliment, but it can carry implications of body shaming. You have no idea what this person has recently gone through. They may have been sick, stressed, or dieting, or even may suffer from an eating disorder. This also may make them think that they must have looked bad before. Instead of causing anxiety, just tell the person that they look great today and leave it at that. Compliments are always thoughtful.

3~ “Are You Pregnant?” This question rarely has a positive outcome. If your co-worker is not pregnant, then you have just deeply insulted her, and if she is pregnant and hasn’t announced it yet, chances are that she’s not ready to share the news. It’s best to keep observations like this to yourself.

4~ “How Much Do You Get Paid?” This question makes everyone feel awkward and is unprofessional. Don’t ever ask someone about their salary, as most like to keep this subject private.

5~ “Did You Hear?” Even if you don’t start a rumor or story around the office, sharing it with others is considered spreading the gossip. Doing this will not only make people angry, but it’s a quick way to get yourself labeled as the office gossiper, making many find you unprofessional.

6~ Saying “these people”. Topics like religion, child-rearing and politics can often come up in the workplace, but by labeling groups as, ‘those people’, you can be deemed as causing harassment. Keep negative comments to yourself, as they are unprofessional, and you never know who can hear you.

7~ “I Think”. Try to always sound secure at the office. When people ask you things that you aren’t totally sure about, don’t reply with, “I think”, as this makes you should unsure. You want to be the professional that others can count on, so if you honestly don’t have the correct answer, say something like, “let me look into that and get right back to you”, showing that you are working on it.

8~ Be Positive. Even if you were in the running for a promotion that was given to one of your colleagues instead, never act surprised by the decision, as this only takes away from their excitement and makes you look bad. Don’t say, “I can’t believe they gave the promotion to you.” Instead simply tell them, “congratulations”, with a sincere smile, and move on.

9~ “I Need a New Job”. Everyone suffers from bad days at the office when nothing seems to go right. If you find yourself in the middle of one of those types of trying days, don’t blow off steam in the break room by telling a colleague, “I need a new job”. Saying this may start a whole ball of things that you don’t really intend for. If you are actually looking for a new position, it’s better to keep it quiet and search on your own free time. Chances are that you are only having a bad day and a few minutes away from your desk can do numbers. Take a brisk walk with a colleague, or get a cup of coffee – just keep the negative comments to yourself.

Many times harsh words are said without bad intent. Just take a minute before you speak to think of how your words will come across, keeping your professionalism in tact at the office.